The Dash

I was recently speaking with a dear friend and we were talking about life and how your life is represented on your epitaph with a “dash” between the date of your birth and death. I started thinking about my life and how much of it has passed. Will the dash that represents my life have made a difference? Did I make people feel loved, cared for, listened to? I hope so.

When you are young you feel like your “dash” will go on forever and you have so much time ahead of you. You put some things off to do in the future and as you get older your realize there are no guarantees in life. For some sadly, their dash has been short, too short, and the hopes and dreams they had are lost. Others have had a long life contained in their “dash”, a life filled with purpose and meaning. Some have made bad choices and their dash has been wasted, time has moved forward and the gift time they had been given has been lost.

I want my dash to have mattered. As I have mentioned in other posts, I am older now and most of my life is behind me. Looking through the rear view mirror, many regrets are visible, as are the highlights and happy moments. I am a worrier and I realize most of the things in the past that I worried about never took place. I wasted so much time trying to predict the future I missed special moments that were happening in the present. Regret is an awful feeling because you can’t change mistakes made or opportunities missed. The only useful thing about regret is learning from it.

I have realized thanks to regret that relationships and connection are more important than cleaning my house or looking after trivial things that really don’t matter in the long run. I want my last chapter to be filled with doing things that matter, things that make a difference to others. I want my life or my “dash” to have made a difference in someone’s life, to have made the world a better place in some small way.

Recently the heart I have kept shut in a box to keeping it locked away has been cracked open. Feelings I have not felt for many years are starting to seep out. It is a wonderful yet scary feeling, especially for me as I have hidden my feelings, trying to be strong for my kids and those who depend on me. I have experienced the feeling of hope. Hope that this next chapter will be meaningful and even though I know there will be challenges I am working to try to live in the moment and feel the joys and sorrows of life.

As I write I am hopeful that before the date at the other end of my dash is cast in stone that I can enjoy life, help others, give love, feel love and make a difference. I am working on letting go of my regrets, perhaps you are too. I am working on learning from my mistakes and regrets rather than letting them cripple me. I am trying to let go of circumstances and things I can’t control (which is proving to be very difficult to do). I know I will never be famousbut I want to work at making each day count by looking out and not in, forward and not back and to lend a hand to those that come across my path.

I hope this post has inspired you to look at your life or your “dash” and make a decision to change the things you can to enhance the lives of those around you and also encourage you to accept the things you can’t change. Let’s try to enjoy each moment and make a difference so we can end our race well.